Thursday, July 06, 2006

I only play an idiot on television

Sarah's birthday has come and gone. She is now an old school maid at the age of 26. This is a fact I consistently remind her of by taunting her with: "You are old, who will have you now?" I would like to think though that she had a great birthday. We have been making an effort to get to the gym lately and before we left Birmingham I bought her a pair of sneakers. That is mentioned in a prior blog entry. I also bought her a gift card to a day spa in Birmingham that offers among other services, massages. Now I will massage her when she asks and even when she doesn't, but I guess I don't cut it because she always talks about getting a good massage. Geez, I do the best I can.
We came back to the 'Lands this week primarily for her birthday. However, there was another motive for our trip back. I was proposing to Sarah. I am no fool! She could do a lot better than me so I had to do something before she realized that. In a total departure from the norm, I played the whole thing real cool. I didn't lead on at all. The whole cloak and dagger, super spy stuff is not my bag. This was a tough secret to hold. The nice thing was that only 1 person east of the Mississippi knew my intentions(her dad). Yes, while over 10 people knew in Stockton only one knew here so it was all good. With the help of her dad, I had a ring shipped here and it was on.
She hasn't been feeling well so the grand visions of proposing on the beach or river was axed. It turned out all right though because without about 10 minutes left on her birthday I proposed and she said yes. Woohoo! Her mom, dad, and sister were all there and while Sarah remained calm her mom and sister starting crying (especially her sister). There was a great range of emotion. Her mom was excited for us, then all of a sudden got fake mad at her husband since he knew and didn't say anything. Then when Darlene found out that she signed for the box the ring came to her house in and it had been here for almost two weeks she felt real bad since it was under her nose. It is in the works, but look for the Reid and Mike super spy agency. We pulled a fast one on a bunch of Barbee women. A feat rivaled in its near impossibility only by escaping from Alcatraz and finding a high school janitorial position that pays over $100k.
The question yesterday was when are you getting married. Now everyone wants to know the date. In the words of Ted on How I Met Your Mother (of course slightly modified for my scenario): "That is something for future Mike and future Sarah to figure out." This much I do know: I am only an idiot on television. I know when I have found someone out of my league and did something smart (or tricky, depending on how you look at it): I used a female's natural attraction to diamonds to create a momentary lapse in judgement in order to get her to agree to marry me. All this time I thought diamond rings were a symbol of committment. No, that is way off. They are designed to stun the girl and throw her logic and common sense off track. It is during that moment when a diamond is in front of her that her natural attraction to diamonds makes all logic obsolete. That diamond will lead her to make a decision she would not otherwise make if her wits were about her. But I needed that advantage, how else would I have gotten someone as great as her to agree to marry me.
I acknowledge that she is smarter than me, but I finally won one when it counted. By the way, we don't know when the wedding is...so don't ask! We will let you know. Seriously, good last few days. I mean, Reid even grilled steaks. An engagement and steaks within 24 hours, it doesn't get much better than that.

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